Nigel Joseph provides Trauma Therapy, EMDR, and Couples Counselling in Narre Warren and via Telehealth across Australia.
What is Trauma?
Trauma is not defined by the event itself; it is what happens to you when your nervous system is overwhelmed beyond its capacity to cope. It is not about what happened to you, but what happened inside you. When an experience leaves you feeling unsafe, helpless, or utterly alone and your nervous system cannot fully process and recover from it, that is trauma (van der Kolk, 2014).
What is the difference between 'big T' and 'little t' trauma?
Big T traumas are the experiences most people associate with accidents, assault, abuse, natural disasters, war, or sudden loss. These are big events that threaten safety or survival and can leave a lasting imprint on the nervous system (Herman, 1992).
Small t traumas are less visible but equally real. Childhood emotional neglect, chronic criticism or shaming, bullying, relationship breakdowns, or years of feeling like you didn't quite belong. They rarely involve a single dramatic moment, which is why they so often go unrecognised even by the person carrying them (Levine, 1997).
Can childhood experiences cause trauma in adulthood?
Yes. Early relational experiences shape the nervous system, our sense of self, and how safe we feel in the world. What happened or didn't happen in childhood has a profound effect on adult mental health, relationships, and how we cope with stress. Van der Kolk (2014) demonstrates extensively how early adverse experiences become encoded in the body and nervous system, shaping how we respond to the world long into adulthood.
How does trauma affect relationships and couples?
Unresolved trauma doesn't stay contained to the individual; it moves into our closest connections. The arguments that escalate too quickly, the silences that go on too long, the feeling of being fundamentally unseen by the person who is supposed to know you best are often trauma responses playing out between two people (van der Kolk, 2014). When we feel threatened or emotionally overwhelmed, we react from old survival patterns, not from our best selves. Couples therapy creates space to stop, reflect and understand what is actually happening beneath the surface, finding a way back to each other.
What therapies work for trauma?
Several approaches have strong evidence for trauma treatment.
EMDR is recognised by the World Health Organisation, the American Psychological Association, and Australia's National Centre of Excellence in Posttraumatic Mental Health (Phoenix Australia) as one of the most effective evidence-based treatments for trauma and PTSD.
Schema Therapy addresses the deep beliefs and patterns formed by early negative experience.
Nigel is highly skilled in both approaches, alongside a range of other modalities, tailoring therapy to the unique needs of each individual or couple he works with.
Reaching out is the first step towards making a difference to how you feel.