Services
Relationship Counselling in Narre Warren
The patterns you bring into relationships were shaped long before this one.
I'm happy to talk through your situation and how I work, to see if it feels right for you. Call me on 0479 171 121.
Feel Close to the People You Love
Many of the difficulties people experience in relationships have less to do with the other person than with patterns formed long before that relationship began, ways of relating, trusting, and responding to conflict that were shaped early in life and tend to repeat themselves.
This individual counselling is for anyone wanting to understand their own part in relationship difficulties, whether they're currently in a relationship, between relationships, or simply noticing a pattern they'd like to change.
This work is separate from couples counselling. It's one-on-one, focused on you, your history, and your patterns, and can be valuable whether or not you have a partner right now.
Signs Relationship Counselling Could Help
- A pattern of relationships ending the same way, or for similar reasons
- Difficulty trusting partners, or a fear of being left or betrayed
- Feeling anxious, preoccupied, or overly reliant on reassurance in relationships
- Avoiding closeness, or feeling smothered when a relationship becomes serious
- Repeating dynamics from your family of origin in adult relationships
- Difficulty communicating needs, or expressing them in ways that push people away
- Struggling to set boundaries, or feeling responsible for others' emotions
- Wanting to understand your patterns before entering a new relationship
Understanding Attachment Style
Attachment theory describes how early relationships with caregivers shape the templates we later bring into adult relationships. Someone with a more anxious attachment style may seek frequent reassurance and fear abandonment. Someone with a more avoidant style may feel uneasy with closeness and pull away when a relationship deepens. A more secure attachment style tends to involve comfort with both closeness and independence. Most people show a mix of these patterns rather than fitting neatly into one category, and patterns can look different depending on the relationship.
Importantly, attachment style is not fixed. While early patterns can be persistent, research indicates they can shift over time, particularly through new relational experiences and focused therapeutic work.
The relationships that shaped you early in life do not have to determine the relationships you have from here.
Relationship Therapy and Counselling
This work doesn't follow a script, but sessions tend to move through a few natural stages as we get to know your patterns and build the capacity to relate differently.
Understanding Your Patterns
In our first sessions, I want to understand your attachment style, where it comes from, and the patterns that keep showing up across your relationships.
Read more ↓Working Through What's Underneath
Together we work through past relational hurt or betrayal, and build your tolerance for the closeness or independence that feels hardest for you.
Read more ↓Building Healthier Connection
We build practical communication and boundary setting skills, so you can approach relationships, current or future, with greater self-awareness and steadiness.
Read more ↓Counselling Sessions
I offer 60 minute sessions, in person in Narre Warren or via telehealth Australia-wide.
Wondering about cost? Session fees and private health insurance rebate details are on the Fees page.
If patterns in your relationships are affecting your wellbeing, call on 0479 171 121 or Contact Me.
If you and a partner decide you'd like to work on the relationship together, couples counselling is also available.
References
Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base: Parent-child attachment and healthy human development. Basic Books.
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2007). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change. Guilford Press.
Fraley, R. C. (2019). Attachment in adulthood: Recent developments, emerging debates, and future directions. Annual Review of Psychology, 70, pages 401 to 422. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7075830/
Young, J. E., Klosko, J. S., & Weishaar, M. E. (2003). Schema therapy: A practitioner's guide. Guilford Press.
Common Questions
Relationship Counselling FAQs
Individual relationship counselling is one-on-one support to understand your own patterns in relationships, such as attachment style, communication habits, or recurring conflicts, without your partner or another person attending sessions with you.
Attachment style describes patterns of relating that develop in early life and tend to carry into adult relationships, shaping how comfortable someone feels with closeness, how they respond to conflict, and how they seek or avoid reassurance from others.
Couples counselling involves both partners attending sessions together to work on the relationship directly. Individual relationship counselling focuses on your own patterns, whether or not you are currently in a relationship, and can be useful on its own or alongside couples work.
Yes. Many people seek individual relationship counselling between relationships or before starting a new one, to understand patterns from past relationships and approach future ones differently.
Yes. While attachment patterns are often stable, research shows they can shift over time, particularly through corrective relational experiences and targeted therapeutic work such as Schema Therapy.
Yes. Thoughtful Strides Counselling and Psychotherapy offers individual relationship counselling via telehealth Australia-wide, as well as in person in Narre Warren, Victoria.
Unresolved patterns don't just disappear on their own.
Why keep repeating the same painful cycles, when you can understand what's driving them.