Services
Couples Counselling & Relationship Therapy in Narre Warren
Sometimes a session brings up things neither of you saw coming.
I'm happy to talk through your situation and how I work, to see if it feels right for you. Call me on 0479 171 121.
A Space to Work Through It Together
Not feeling as connected as you used to?
Most relationships start with two people in love, enjoying each other's company, going on dates, and building a strong friendship. As life goes on, family responsibilities, financial pressures, work stress, and health issues can make it harder to keep doing what you once did easily. You may not have as much time together to nurture the relationship, and things can start to feel distant.
I offer couples therapy as a space to understand what's changed in your relationship, and find the best way forward, together.
It Started Long Before You Met.
So much of what shows up in a relationship was shaped long before you met your partner. The way each of you learned to communicate, manage emotions, handle conflict, and feel safe in connection with others often began early in life. When stress builds, these old patterns tend to surface more easily, and both people can end up feeling hurt, frustrated, or disconnected, even when neither of you meant any harm.
I offer couples counselling as somewhere to pause, breathe, and make sense of what is really happening between you. Whether you are feeling distant, caught in conflict, navigating a big life change, or working through betrayal, change is possible when you are both willing to take the first step.
You Might Recognise Some of These
- Ongoing conflict or frequent arguments
- Difficulty communicating or feeling unheard
- Loss of connection, closeness, or intimacy
- Trust issues or recovering from betrayal
- Navigating major life transitions together
- Differences in values, expectations, or goals
- Feeling stuck in the same patterns
- Wanting to feel close again
How Couples Counselling Works
Getting to Know You Both
In our first session, I get to know you both together, your history, how you met, what's been going on, and how long you've been dealing with it.
Read more ↓Individual Sessions
Next, I meet with each of you separately, to understand your own family history and how you learned to connect with others growing up.
Read more ↓Working Through It Together
Then we come back together as a couple, and use what we've learned to work through what's actually happening between you.
Read more ↓Two Evidence-Based Approaches, Used Together
The Gottman Method
I use the Gottman Method, built on decades of research into what actually predicts whether a relationship thrives or breaks down.
Rather than treating every disagreement as a one-off, the Gottman Method looks at the specific habits and blind spots you've built up together over time, and gives us practical, tested ways to shift them. Tap through the five tools below to see how each one works.
A structured way of rebuilding a detailed, up to date picture of each other's inner world. We build this through simple, guided questions about your partner's daily life, worries, hopes, and history.
Maps out how an argument actually unfolds between you, so you can catch it earlier. We look at what typically triggers it, how it escalates, and where either of you could step in differently.
Supporting each other after a hard day without it turning into another fight. It's a simple structure for listening and validating, without jumping straight to advice or trying to fix it.
Small, repeated moments of connection that quietly hold a relationship together. Things like how you greet each other, say goodbye, or check in during the day.
Finding workable middle ground on issues that never seem to resolve. We separate what actually matters to each of you from what you're willing to flex on, so compromise feels fair rather than one-sided.
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Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
An attachment-based approach that slows the defensive cycle down so you can see what's underneath it, often hurt, fear, or a need to feel close again.
Rather than focusing on the argument itself, EFCT looks at the emotional cycle underneath it, the moment one of you reaches for connection and the other pulls back, or one raises their voice and the other shuts down. Tap through the five tools below to see how each one works.
Looks at the underlying emotional fears driving conflict, rather than just the conflict itself. Most conflict is really about needing to feel wanted, safe, or important to the other person.
Both partners' defensive reactions feed off each other. In session, I help you both slow that cycle down before it escalates. Once you can name the cycle together, it becomes something you're both working against, rather than each other.
Once the cycle settles, we look at what's underneath it, often hurt, fear, or a need to feel close again. Being able to show that to each other, and have it land gently, is often what actually shifts things.
Learning to recognise the small moments you're each reaching for reassurance or closeness, even when it looks like anger or distance, so you can respond to what's actually being asked for.
Creating new, consistent experiences of being there for each other, so trust is rebuilt through repeated action over time, not just through talking about it.
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Counselling sessions
I offer 60 minute sessions, in person in Narre Warren or via telehealth Australia-wide.
Wondering about cost? Session fees and private health insurance rebate details are on the Fees page.
Whatever is happening in your relationship, you don't have to work through it alone. Call on 0479 171 121 or Contact Me.
Common Questions
Couples Counselling FAQs
Couples counselling is joint therapy for two partners working on their relationship together, addressing conflict, communication, trust, or emotional distance with the support of a trained therapist.
Often, yes. What looks like a communication problem is sometimes an old trauma response playing out between two people, the argument that escalates too fast, the silence that goes on too long, the feeling of being unseen by the person who's supposed to know you best (van der Kolk, 2014). When either partner feels threatened or emotionally overwhelmed, it's easy to react from old survival patterns rather than a considered response. This is one reason couples counselling and individual trauma work often benefit from happening alongside each other.
The Gottman Method draws on decades of research into what predicts relationship success or breakdown, focusing on practical patterns of conflict and connection. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) works from attachment theory, focusing on the underlying emotional fears driving conflict. Many couples benefit from both being used together.
This varies depending on what's happening in the relationship. Some couples benefit from a handful of sessions focused on a specific issue, while others work through longer-standing patterns over a more extended course of therapy.
Couples counselling works best with both partners attending, since the goal is to work on the relationship together. If only one partner is ready, individual relationship counselling can be a useful starting point.
No. Many couples come in well before a crisis point, simply wanting to strengthen communication, navigate a life transition, or address a pattern before it becomes entrenched.
Yes. Thoughtful Strides Counselling and Psychotherapy offers couples counselling via telehealth Australia-wide, as well as in person in Narre Warren.
Your relationship is worth a conversation.
Sometimes small changes can make a big difference.